Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Thanksgiving 2016

This year is Jace's first Holiday season and it makes every moment of it extra special. He may not have any idea what is going on, but it sure does make our celebration more fun having him along for the ride. We had a wonderful weekend full of family time this year and I don't want to forget a single detail. We alternate which family we go to for Thanksgiving and this year we were with Austin's family! Since our families live so close we are able to do both for Christmas, but have felt like cramming both into Thanksgiving would be too stressful. 

This year we gathered at Austin's parents house with his mom's side of the family! His cousins are all around our age and some of our good friends. We ate lunch together and spent the rest of the day relaxing, going on a walk, and playing games. Jace took 2 long naps and I think all of the people and food wore him out because he was ready for bed again by 6pm. I gladly volunteered to take him home and put him to bed so I could curl up on the couch and watch Christmas movies while shopping online. Having kids really is the best excuse to go home and rest for this extroverted introvert! 

That precious smile... Oh Jace you light up our world!




My boy!


Somebody loves his daddy!


Walking with his Lolly!




On Black Friday of this year I worked and was pretty sad about it because my mom and I have Black Friday shopped for about 10 years now. But it ended up being a great day at work and really the online sales this year have been AMAZING. Shopping from your couch in your pajamas is pretty awesome. On Saturday we celebrated Jace's bff's birthday! Joel and Brittanie are some of our closest friends and their little boy Brantley turns 1 in a few weeks. He had a cowboy themed party and is just the cutest, happiest little buddy!  We have some fun things coming up this Holiday season and I am so excited for all of it. Our dog Bailey is due with puppy's, we are traveling to Waco for the Magnolia Market Christmas Silobration, and Austin's youngest brother is getting married! 

In the midst of the craziness I find it so hard to not get wrapped up in the materialism of Christmas and lose the heart of it. My mom and I started the SheReadsTruth Advent study and it is really helping me re-focus. Oh Jesus that you would quiet my heart this year and create in me a longing for Your return. I want to focus on celebrating the birth of my Savior this year, recognizing the great Hope that He brought to this earth. Merry Christmas everyone and may your Christmas season be full of the hope and peace that only Jesus Christ can bring!


Sunday, November 13, 2016

Failure

One of the greatest fears I have struggled with is the fear of failure. I have gone so far as to not even try for fear of failing at something new. I like being good at things and having the assurance that I will succeed. Raising a child has magnified this fear of failure. I was handed the most precious treasure I have ever been given on this earth and suddenly I have been asked to make a thousand decisions that will shape him into the person he will become. This responsibility has caused me to want to overanalyze every.single.decision. 

Did I feed him too much or not enough? Did I let him cry too long or should I have waited longer to go in and get him? Should I have skipped the vaccine or gotten it? Should we make our own baby food or buy the (awesome) pre-filled pouches? Should I work or stay-home? Should I show mercy or bring correction? And I haven't even gotten to the truly crucial years where I am helping shape a soul not just a body. 

As I was praying this morning, a pretty strong thought hit me... I will fail my kids. At some point or another, I will fail them. I will say or do the wrong thing and disappoint them. Now that is not to say that I won't try my hardest and lean on God's grace and wisdom every single day. That is not a free pass to throw my hands in the air and give up. But it does set me free to realize that my kids need to see me fail. If I never failed them how would I show them a need for God's forgiveness?

The foundation of my belief system in Jesus Christ is that I am a sinner in need of saving. More than my kids need a perfect parent, they need to realize that there is a perfect Jesus who will not let them down, even when I do. If we never show our kids our weakness, how will they be able to attest to God's strength? 2 Corinthians 12:9 says that I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. Somewhere along the road we have gotten the idea that following Christ means we have our act together. I want to teach my kids that I follow Christ because I don't have my act together. When I fail it opens the door for me to point my kids to the One who will not fail them. When I say the wrong thing it opens the door to ask my kids forgiveness and teach them about the ultimate forgiveness found in Jesus Christ. 

So let's walk in the freedom we are meant to walk in Jesus Christ. The pursuit of perfection in ourselves is an empty pursuit that strangles the life out of our joy. If I were truly perfect I would give my kids no reason for placing their faith in Jesus Christ. I want to be a person that shows my brokenness, humility, and weakness so that I can boast all the more gladly in Christ's strength.