Austin and I have a lot in common.. same taste in movies, same sense of humor, same commitment to friendships (because we seriously both have incredible friends)... but one of our biggest things in common is that we were both raised Pastor's kids. Both our dads have been Senior Pastor's of their churches for over 20 years so it is the only real life we have known. There are a ton of benefits to being the pastor's kid... one of my favorites growing up was definitely having rights to all of the good nursery snacks. I can't tell you how many animal crackers I have consumed or sleeves of ritz crackers while watching Veggie Tales. My first job was being a bulletin cleaner upper at 9 years old where I got paid $5 a service to clean and replace every bulletin on every pew and man I thought I was big stuff. My parents used to get us up at 4am on Sunday mornings so they could go to their prayer meeting and I always thought it was SO cool to get to sleep at church in his office.
But yet with all of that when people ask Austin and I if we will go into full time ministry we say no thank you unless God absolutely calls us into it without a shadow of a doubt. People often ask me why and I will without a doubt tell you that I think it is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Both our dad's could have easily chosen to be a Sunday morning kind of preacher. The one who shares a feel good message on Sunday morning and hires other people to do the "dirty work". I can promise you that there have been plenty of times I wish my dad would be like that because it would make life a whole lot easier. But we both witnessed our dad's truly get in the nitty gritty muck and mire with people. They chose to get uncomfortable and vulnerable and know their people from the inside out. I can't tell you the times I've woken up in the middle of the night to my dad still awake pouring over Scripture and sermon material or going through a situation over and over. I've seen both parents weep over countless deaths, divorces, miscarriages, broken friendships, lost jobs, cancer diagnoses and family strife.
You see when you choose to get in people's dirt there is a lot more room for error. And there has been error. Our parents are imperfect people and they have made some big mistakes over the years. But all four of our parents would be the first to admit that they have deep flaws that make them so aware of their need for Jesus. I didn't grow up with this standard of perfection like a lot of Pastor's kids do because I knew how inherently flawed the human race is. I grew up seeing what sin can do to your life and how it can rip you apart from the inside out. I tasted all that this world has to offer through the pain that my parent's constantly waded through with people. My dad has always told me that it is just as important to know who you are when you are apart from Jesus to remind you of your great need for Him. There have been times in my life where my dad has been brutally honest with me and boy did it tick me off. But I look back now and thank God that he was. He didn't tell me what I wanted to hear or put a bandaid on my error, he exposed it and then helped me work through it. I almost broke up with Austin because of my own irrational fear and if it hadn't been for my dad's painful honesty I may have. THANK GOD I didn't. Thank God that He used my dad as a vessel of truth.
When people tell me now that they want to be a pastor I pray that they understand the cost. You don't lose part of your life... you lose it all. You give up everything for the sake of Jesus Christ when you go into ministry. People place giant heaping expectations on you and every flaw of yours will be exposed for all to see. But if God does call us into full time ministry I pray that we would be just like John, Beth, Thomas and Lori. I pray that we would dive into the ugly dirt of people's life and walk arm in arm with people through their darkest times. I pray that we would know our own limitations and flaws just like they do so that we would rely heavily on our relationship with Jesus Christ. That is where the pain is but it is also where the riches are. There is nothing like seeing people walk in the freedom found in Jesus. There is nothing like sharing someone's burden and then watching God completely remove it from them. We have seen a lot of pain and suffering watching our parents minister the gospel but I would be lying if I didn't say we have seen a lot more incredible joy.
No comments:
Post a Comment